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The problem you face is being prepared for the problems, and not just running off to the attorneys every time she acts up. You have to learn what evidence you need to be gathering. Does she make these statements to other individuals? If she has, do you have that person create a notarized statements for you? If all you're doing is telling your attorney that this person is a possible witness, than you're just making him/her money, because that is what the attorney will be doing. And then charging you for the time in doing so. A statement can be notarized for free at your local library.

Do you keep a daily journal so that you can make a quick reference to the times and places she makes these statements? What most judges don't like is not a pushy father demanding his rights, but a properly prepared father so that the judge is not left with deciding which of you are telling the truth. I note that in your state you cannot tape record conversations, so it is very important that you keep your journal with you at all times. I have a member in Kansas City that does go anywhere without his journal. If you doesn't have anything important to write in it, than he writes a note to his child about his day. The child is 12 months old.

Always be looking for ways to do things yourself, rather than pay the attorney to do. Don't ask your attorney to write letters to her reminding her about what the court orders say. Write it yourself, make a couple of copies, and send it to her using both Certified Mail that she has to sign for, and using Delivery Confirmation. If she refuses to sign for the first letter, the second letter will still be delivered to her, with a computerized confirmation done by the mail person.

Insert the copy of the letter, as well as the Delivery Receipt, and/or computer printout from the USPS web site into your case file. When you go back to court for any reason, the judge reads this file to update themselves about the case. Doing this means that he will have this on his mind when he hears your motion to enforce, and/or request to change the primary residential parent.

To Hell with studies!

all that has ever done is allowed someone to make some money and not solve the problem, I started paying child support right when I was served papers, even when I was "kicked" out of my home.

I had got several payday loans (here) and I paid child support because I knew I had an obligation to my kids. what is tearing me up right now is that I made every child support payment that I was supposed to and now have found that my income tax refund is being held from me due to "back child support", I have been a SOLE parent for over 7 months now and haven't received any support, financially or emotionally, from my ex but if I was to do what she is doing right now I would be in jail accused of being a "deadbeat dad", and now am also supposed to "be nice" to her whenever she calls and talks to the kids....

The idea works ! i know i have homeschoolfreinds who cook like that and some of them also do information meetings .

the problem with this whole idea is ... most young women of today do not know how to cook . my oldest daughter cant even boil water !!! i tred to teach her , but she refused ... if you cant put it in the micro wave , she does not know how to deal with it .

if i had her cook once a month to care for this family she'd be up the creek with no paddle .

i honestly believe , in order to conquer debt at the food level , a good introductory cookbook would be good . learn to cook ... then get some other cookbooks to broaden your expertise ... then go to once a month cooking .

it amazed me several years ago ... i was feeding a family of 5 , incl a baby , on 15 $ a week . i had help though . i knew the produce manager at my store . and i was able to buy " damaged , pulled " produce for next to nothing . i mean , we ate well. better than we do now , when i do not have to turn every nickel over a few times anymore .... . anyway , i bought some odd produce . i come from germany and we used veggies that are not readily available in florida , and that are considered outside the standard fare . the produce manager often asked me what i was going to do with some of these oddballs and the boatload of fruits and veggies i brought home so often . i told her . she often had no clue what some of the stuff she sold was wdbeing used for , how to cook it or anything . this was the produce MANAGER !!!!

when people familiarize themselves with the food thats out there and learn how to cook it , ... you have an oportunity to save $$$$$ . i often bought apples that had bruises , bananas that had too many brown spots to be considered " saleable " ... i have a fooddehydrator and drid the apples . make yummy snacks that way . the bananas we use to make fried bananas for breakfast . my son will eat a whole pan full of those . very good for you and if you can get the bananas marked down... cant get a cheaper breakfast!!!!

but you need to know your foods and how to cook !!


Unfortunately, I'm coming to the conclusion that I have to file for bankruptcy. I'm wondering if I have any other option. Is it really the best thing?

The lawyer I consulted costs $2800 to file BK. How do I find a less expensive lawyer, and how will I get the money to pay him/her?

My debt is just about the amount of my yearly income ($32,000). I have a retirement account with about $10,000. No other assets. Should use the money from my retirement account to pay off some of the debt? Creditors are offering me deals of 20-50% off the total balance if I settle with them. (2 of my 4 credit cards are in default).

I'm concerned that BK will mean I can't get another apt if I want to move; or buy a condo sometime.I live with a housemate because I live in an expensive city and can't afford to live alone, though I'd like to.

I'm single, rent, self-employed. I owe 2 years of back taxes which I'm paying. I owe two friends a couple of thousand dollars. This all feels horrible. I have a chronic illness that keeps me from getting a job outside the home.


I am writing this to say, you are not alone; I know the idea of staying positive is difficult. I am in the same position as you, but truly believe nothing just happens. I am trying to hold on to see what is on the other side of this challenge. Whatever does not kill you will make you stronger, right?

Although, I have not filed, have contemplated the possibility just to stop the madness and move forward.

Have you contacted a credit-counseling agency to see if they can set you up on a debt reduction plan? Have you cut your expenses as much as possible? Try to think of ways to create new business for yourself, such as outsourcing your services to businesses. [typing, data entry, etc]

If BK seems the only alternative interview several attorneys, consider those in a neighboring town. I am told bankruptcy is not the end of the road and that many are able to purchase homes after two years of on time payments.

You are a valuable person with much to offer the world; this is only a temporary situation. I stand with you in suffering but have not given up and continue to search for alternatives.

I am at the end of my rope. The lawyer I consulted wanted $1200, and I thought that was bad. Today, I will talk to National Debt Relief. If anyone has any advice, I could sure use it. I am not into debt as bad as most but all my credit cards and unsecured loans are maxed out and cannot pay them as well as student loans. So I am doomed. I hope I don't lose my car thru consolidation. HELP!

The lawyer told me I should have gone bankrupt last year before they changed the law. He was a real *ss, so arrogant with his feet up on his desk while he was talking to me. But the consultation was free and I got a LOT of info from him. So, he will get nothing from me. I'll find another lawyer if I choose that route.

Question about prior bankruptcy?

I had a bankruptcy discharged in 1999. There was a debt I didn't know I had when the bankruptcy was filed. It was never listed on the bankruptcy and was never discharged. It shows as a judgement at the county court house on my credit report but never went to court because of the bankruptcy. It is still on file at the court house but there has never been a hearing or processing other than filing for a hearing.

What do I need to do to have it removed or deal with it?

Go back to the court house and have them add it to your bankruptcy file this can be done . We were discharged 3 years ago and found we had 2 claims we did not put on you can have the backdated to the date you filed if you can prove you had the debt prior to your filing .

Hope this helps

Does any know of any legit work at home ideas that I can do part time to make some extra cash? I'm not asking for any get rich quick schemes, I know those don't work. I just want to know if anyone knows of any work at home things I can do. Thanks 🙂

Go with what you can do like crafts, taking care of kids, cooking. Look for a need and see if you can fill it. My grandma did okay selling things she made using beads or decorating plastic grids with yarns to make coasters and book holders among other things. Oh, and look into things like Avon or Tupperware, something you really like and are willing to represent to other people. I know a woman who sold Discovery Toys (fun and educational games and toys) and she did pretty good before she retired last year. In fact, she made enough doing that without having to hold a "regular" job. Good luck on whichever thing you decide to pursue.

I'm in the same fix-I'd love some part time work I can do at home!

After trying a lot of home business opportunities that I just couldn't make work, I decided it's easier for me to work for someone else. 🙂

I work for American Veterans as a telephone solicitor. They send me a list of 250 names each week and I call the people to see if they have donations of clothing or household goods to pick up for the veterans. I'm not selling anything or asking for money--basically offering them a service so I don't feel as bad as those "solictors" we all hate! 🙂 Anyway, they pay me on a commission basis so it's erratic income, but I get a weekly check.

I know they operate in Ohio, but I'm not sure of the other states.

I wrote a couple of months ago because I was so far behind in bills my utilities were about to be shut off and my house was in preforeclosure. The late mortgage payments ruined our chance for a decent rate for refinancing. My husband was going to see about an emergency loan using the our 401K plan. We were going through papers and "discovered" savings bonds. How many of us receive savings bonds as gifts and never do anything with them? We turned in the bonds, paid two mortgage payments and the utilities. We spoke with the bank about the late mortgage payment and we were able to defer one payment that will come due at the end of the loan. We didn't even know this option exsisted!

I hope this might jog somebody's memory! lol

Hey everyone! I'm new and so excited about this group.

I have a family of three but I buy groceries like i'm trying to feed the Brady Bunch. I tend to buy a lot because of "sales" and I like to stay stocked up. Well I think I spend too much. How much I spend varies because it depends on what I see in the sales papers. How much do you spend? Do you allow yourself a certain amount and stay within that budget?


I've been a "lurker" in this blog for awhile now and have learned a lot, so thank you first off. I finally have something valuable to share! Of all the ways we've cut our monthly expenses this is where we made the biggest difference. I do once a month cooking (OAMC) and stock our freezer. We were spending 600-700 a month on groceries before and now my grocery bill averages $350 a month for a family of 4. We have a large extended family that gets together a lot so that figure also includes all of the potluck, company meals and bringing snacks for my son's preschool twice a month. It takes a lot of planning & organization to get the hang of it, but I am such a believer I tell everyone what a difference it has made in our budget.

Think about it - you buy the "value packs", food isn't going to waste because it is dealt with immediately, you're not in the store more than once a month (other than the runs for milk & produce) so you're not tempted to spend.

My advice is to go to the library and check out all the books on freezer and make ahead cooking. I'm actually teaching a class on this subject at our local community college, so check in your area if a similar class is available. There are several really great websites that offer recipes, tips and tricks for successful OAMC. I've developed 3 different "menu" plans (a list of all the dishes I'm making for a month - including breakfast items and snacks) that I rotate for variety. I know roughly what my "menus" cost in groceries, and I do have one plan that is for our short months (my hubby is in road construction so rainy weather makes for small paychecks). Sorry for going on and on, but I KNOW this works and KNOW it could help so many of us struggling to get out of debt if we're willing to put forth the effort.

hello everybody, I just joined, and posted a couple of msgs. Wonder if anyone watches Suze Orman show. I don't usually go in for 'celeb' types, but I really like her down- to-earth attitude.

Also I like how she always links up money troubles with other personal problems, eg relationships, etc. I think that is very true.

In my case, I haven't found the key, but I'm sure some psychological weirdness is presenting itself thru my financial stuff. Because I'm an intelligent person and yet I keep repeating patterns and getting myself in trouble.

Of course this is not true for everyone, or maybe even for most. I do realize that so many people get in financial hot water for medical bills, and that is certainly NOT something they could avoid. I don't want to sound like I am blaming anybody.

Just in my case, I know I could have avoided this hot water.

I haven't watched her on television, but I have read one of her books and did like the information presented.

I am new to this community and am having a financial crisis! I have an appointment with Consumer Credit Counseling Services on Wednesday and I need some advice. I have received mixed reviews on these types of services in that they reflect negatively on your credit report (I'm already getting negative reporting by having late payments). However, I read an article on MSN Money that says that credit reporting agencies actually look positively on these types of services because it shows that you are working to repay your debt instead of claiming bankruptcy. Has anyone used this service and can give me some advice?

The other issue is that I contacted a couple of my credit card companies to make my own arrangements (lower interest rates, no over limit fees, etc.) and since I'm not behind on any payments, they won't consider this. I even told them that I am considering bankruptcy and they didn't seem to care since my accounts aren't late. It seems crazy to me that they wouldn't work with me on a payment arrangement but would be o.k. with it if I claimed bankruptcy and they received nothing!

Thanks for any advice you can give!

You have several options available to you. CCCS programs are designed to help comsumers, but don't think that they aren't benefiting. CCCS programs do show as a thrid party mark on your credit, and in many instances are portrayed as a bankruptcy.

You may want to do some online searching and look into debt negotiators, consolidation loans, CCCS, and bankruptcy as a final option.

Depends on what you're looking for me and what you mean by 'best'. These are attorneys who specialize in bankruptcy and who are consumer advocates. In my state some of the very best attorneys belong.

BTW, the information I gave re fees for filing was way-off. I talked to someone whose bottom figure was $1400, and someone else who said he was more than that. The info I had quoted of $500-1500 is unfortunately no longer correct.

As a lay person I wouldn't know who was best, but I got a few referrals from attorneys whom I trust. You raise a good point though in that the person we need not only needs to know the law, but also be a consumer advocate.

Yes, it's getting much more expensive and it depends on where you are too. I'm in the NYC area and I've been quoted as much as 5k and never below 2k. I had one fellow from a big firm who wouldn't even give me a price because he only did "big" clients who had millions at stake - the kind like O.J. who is living proof that in this country you can be worth tens of millions and still evade your creditors. He told me that it would cost more to open file for me than I was worth to him, but he gave me a free half hour first anyway and concluded that I didn't need an attorney and should just negotiate my debt down as much of it wouldn't be discharged.

2K-5K! wow. Re negotiating your debt down - in my case, I was surprised that after I stopped making payments for several months, because I couldn't, they were willing to discharge a large portion of the debt, and in one offer, reduce the interest to 1%. I am not kidding. I had been paying as high as 26%. Of course they would rather get something than nothing.

In my case, I got myself in too deep and I have no income so unfortunately I can not take advantage of it.

But depending on your particular circumstances, negotiating is worth a try.

I don't know much about filing for bankruptcy. I had a friend once who had filed twice, once as a Chapter 7 and once as a Chapter 13. I don't really know much about them, one is more of a repayment type plan and the other cancels out all debts. I don't know if you lose everything or not.

Here are some web sites may be useful:
1 - "NACBA is the only national organization dedicated to serving the needs of consumer bankruptcy attorneys and protecting the rights of consumer debtors in bankruptcy."

They have lists of lawyers' names in all the states, I found 67 in my state. From what I can tell by their web site, they seem to be committed to consumer advocacy.

2 - I got a ton of info here: re- what is bk, scams to avoid, debt collectors, legal and illegal practices, how to find an attorney, more.

3 - The web site for the Federal Trade Commission, supposedly to protect consumers, but since it is a government agency, I am skeptical. Just my opinion.

Do not pay $2800 to a lawyer! Even tho the cost of filing has gone up since the bill passed by George Bush last year much to the delight of creditors everywhere, everything I read indicates bankruptcy filing should cost $500 up to $2000, depending on the case.

Also if you read the websites I mention, you will find tips for finding an attorney who will be on the lower end of the cost. I am eligible for legal aid because my income is practically non- existent. Even tho you make $32,000, not a lot of money, I don't know if you are eligible, but you can search under Legal Services in your state.

I'm in the position that I think I have no alternative but to commit bankruptcy, I have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow. [Like most people, I tried to pretend the whole problem didn't exist, didn't take action until I got a legal summons. ARG] Again, everything I read - and I read a lot - says do bankruptcy ONLY if it is the last resort. You sound like a young person, and it can have long term effects, that you may not be aware of.

It's hard to study all this info, but you must in order to protect yourself. Personally I would not depend only on a lawyer, I would try to arm myself with info.

Also - and the site deals with this - ***there are a lot of people trying to take advantage of people in our situation** so beware.

Feel free to mail me off-list or on, we can compare notes.

If you try for legal aid be on your guard. My ex used this group in our state when he filed for divorce. Because of that they won't do anything for me because it might be a conflict of interest. To get a lawyer I have to put up a deposit. My monthly income is between $550 and 600 so I can't afford to hire a lawyer. But the ex, who makes at least $10k more can use legal aid all he likes.

Thanks for that info. I don't know what it means, but I looked up my state and three of the very best attorneys around here aren't members. Possibly the members are those who are new to the field and are looking for more business. Those who are at the top of well established firms don't need to belong to such groups.